...so i touched it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
