My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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