take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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