i think my mom watched the whole time
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
