dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
