so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
