You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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