I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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