Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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