Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
