sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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