I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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