I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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