I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
