is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
