So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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