how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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