So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
