3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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