The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize