This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
