Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
