I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize