I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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