I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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