oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
