sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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