is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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