Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
