i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
