I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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