We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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