If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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