Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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