PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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