i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
