i just google imaged poop.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
