no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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