Its about making memories worth repressing
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
