Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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