yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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