i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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