You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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