3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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