I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
