I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
