yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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