You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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