More tranny stories later!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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