I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
