I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
