I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
