I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
