There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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