I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
