How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
