We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
