I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize