Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
