They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
